Hello all,

 I’m going to be taking a brief hiatus (as you’ve probably already noticed). But I will be back in May, definitely in time to get some sweet summer music updates to you. Try not to cry.

I wish I had a free iTunes download for every (where Y is any number, usually rounded to the nearest ten, between 50 and 1000) “Top Y Best Albums of All Time” list that’s been forced upon the consumer by the mainstream media. Blender does it. Billboard does it. Rolling Stone does it. Hell, the media have all figured out that if they slap ANY sort of list in their magazines, the readers will probably be compelled. Why? Because the lists are such bullshit that they’re completely easy to disagree with, and at the same time you already know who’s going to make the cut. U2. Radiohead. Avril Lavigne.

Wait, hold on just a goddamn minute. Avril Lavigne? That’s what the Rock Hall of Fame is trying to shove down your throat: another marketing ploy, a list by the name of the “Definitive 200“. You’ve run into its kind: you’re perusing Best Buy’s expansive record selection, and suddenly you stumble across a section of albums that are so un-fucking-believable that Blender magazine, no less, says you’ve just gotta hear them. You know that they’re seriously serious because they hand-picked them and Best Buy set them apart! They’ve got a fancy little display case! Why is it that we’re not surprised when all of the big corporate chains have their hands down each others’ pants like this, yet everybody’s shocked when another payola scandal drops? This is why I do not listen to the radio, this is why I do not buy albums unless I know that they’re good, and this is why I stopped subscribing to all the mainstream hype. I’m not going to let somebody’s economics determine what I like and listen to.

The Rock Hall is brazen enough to come out and admit directly that the list was, in fact, developed by the NARM (National Association of Recording Merchandisers). Who is NARM? Good question. Such a good question, in fact, that the website asked itself the same question, and here’s what it came up with:

“The National Association of Recording Merchandisers is an industry trade group that serves the music retailing community in the areas of networking, advocacy, information, education and promotion.”

If the words “networking” and “promotion” don’t stand out to you as marketing buzzwords, then maybe the “Participating Retailers” link on this page does. Yes, it seems that the list is in fact admitting to its own motives. Luckily for the consumer, they’ve set up a Definitive 200 Myspace profile! Now you can even befriend the list!

The page asks you to consider the question: “Where would you be without them?”

We wouldn’t be rushing to Best Buy to “complete our collection” of “classic recordings by favorite iconic and contemporary artists”. We’d also be without one list based around a vague thematic description, also known as a cheap, thinly disguised marketing ploy.

Download music illegally. It’s fun. And the NARM doesn’t want you to.

Well, not really. He did get his nose broken like hell, though. It’s not fun…mine’s been broken twice. But THAT’S another story. Click here to read the full story at punkbands.com.

In other news, I have no comments. Zero. I’ve gotta figure out ways to expand my readership…

So, this is the part where I beg you for money, or at least inform you that I’m now fully equipped and ready to beg for money. See the little box below? It’s my Amazon.com pay box thing (I forgot the official title already). I’m broke. If you have at least a dollar to spare, I would LOVE you for throwing it in. The process is secure, and it shouldn’t take too long.

So my roommate and I have talked a bit about Britney Spears, as I’m sure everybody else has been for the past week-ish. He thinks she’s going to be checking out pretty soon. I don’t think her situation is that drastic…but she does need to do something quick. She really could be in trouble.

I’m not into celeb gossip or anything of the sort. I could really care less – generally. But erratic behavior has always been an area of interest for me, and Ms. Spears has the technique down to a T.

I think it all started when she married K-Fed (aka The Human Joke).

Now Anna Nicole is dead…which shocked everybody. Nobody saw it coming….though I guess we should have. Get help, Britney. I don’t know how I’ll carry on if I never get to see “Hit Me Baby One More Time” performed live. That video changed my life.

Hello all. You’re probably reaching this page because you googled me (which can turn up frightening results), because I told you to come here, or because you’re just really curious. In any case, welcome.

I’m starting this blog as an outlet as well as to give myself an exercise in creative writing. I am an aspiring author (I think), so it would be nice to have a more public forum for my creativity as opposed to writing everything down in notebooks as I’ve been doing (and will continue to do; the only difference is now I’ll be transcribing some of that onto here, and then some).

In case you haven’t figured it out yet, my name is Jared Caraway. I am a student at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas. Students at SMU like to think that they’re a big deal because they go to SMU. That’s false; nobody cares whether anybody goes to SMU or not. Most of the time when somebody’s a big deal around here, it simply means that they have money. Money rules here. That’s why I’m convinced that I have a worthwhile point of view: Unlike most of the people here, I’m broke. Flat broke. I can’t afford food or medication sometimes. Not a stereotypical SMU student.

As a result of my brokeness, I’ve developed a hobby that consists of me jumping from one job to the next in spurts of about a month or less. I have quite an interesting resume, when filled to completion, and my past jobs provide plenty of conversational fodder. Just to throw out a couple: I once worked in a skate shop, and I once worked in a toy store. I’ve also gathered and auctioned off used tennis balls for money. You’re bound to hear of my endless schemes for making money as my future unfolds, not only before you but before my very own eyes. Welcome to a running log of everything I consider interesting and relevant enough to share with you, or otherwise just a great way to bitch, complain, and/or fish for compliments.

To give this first post some substance, I would now like to direct your attention to the website for SMU’s newspaper, website for SMU’s newspaper. I am a contributing writer (when I get time and motivation), and I recently published a two part article about the video game Guitar Hero. It’s divided into a hilarious opening story and an interview with one of the game’s developers, respectively. Give it a read if you have some spare time.