I have returned from a distant land, journeying far afoot clad in leather vestiges (and fighting epic battles), only to find that much time has passed since I have provided you, the reading public, with an update on anything at all. Thrice’s new double-EP release, The Alchemy Index Vols. I & II, has dropped. I went and saw Brand New and Thrice. Why the hell didn’t I write about any of it? I don’t know. But what I do know is that I am back, right here in front of this computer, ready to give possibly the most delayed music update of all time. I present to you, with many apologies, the rest of the Thrice teaser clips.

Here’s 4, wherein the guys speak in-studio about the experimental nature of Water and the genesis of “Digital Sea which, according to Dustin, “just wrote itself like really quickly, in one night”.

5, on Earth: “bluesy stuff, jazzy stuff, to kind of even more classical”-Teppei

Six – Air, they say, is the most diverse of the discs. More in-studio jabber and another song clip.

Seven – Behind the making of Earth and…a Thrice song with a Zeppelin vibe? Check it out.

Numero ocho – Back to Air again…the song clip playing in the background sounds good, but Teppei seems really unsure of the Air album, especially when it comes to distinguishing between an Air and Water track.

N9ne. Fire. See also Video 3.

Ten. Watch as Teppei nearly giggles saying “wet”, in reference to reverb.

Thrice unleash their trademark heavy sound in this clip of a fiery new unveiling. Ferocious is all I can say.

(from alchemyindex.com) As promised, Thrice has followed up with their second installment in what is set to be a 10-part teaser series for the group’s upcoming Alchemy Index album, the first part of which is due out October 16. Unlike the first video, which featured a minute-long clip of Air Sonnet,  the second clip features brief glimpses of the songs woven in between interviews about the freedom the band adopted in creating this album.

Interestingly, one of the commenters posted what is alleged to be the tracklisting for Fire and Water! Here’s the track list:

Fire Track Listing
01) Firebreather
02) The Messenger
03) Backdraft
04) The Arsonist
05) Burn the Fleet
06) The Flame Deluge

Water Track Listing
07) Digital Sea
08) Open Water
09) Lost Continent
10) Night Diving
11) The Whaler
12) Kings Upon the Main

Will keep you posted. I recommend checking out the other comments – one review goes through EACH SONG and gives a brief rundown.

Hahaha, this is the funniest video I’ve seen in AGES (and apparently the news anchors felt the same way).  A cop calls 911 after he and his wife get fucking ripped on some pot brownies made with weed he confiscated from hoodlums. He goes into the whole “I’m dying” trip, freaks out, and asks for a response team to be dispatched to his house. The end of the clip has the man saying “I think we’re dead. Time is going by really, really, really, really slow”. The male anchor reading off the next story can’t help but reference the quote again to the infectious laughter of two adjacent female anchors. Funniest part? The cop wasn’t charged! HAHAHA!

He resigned, though. *shrugs* What a dumb ass. Too bad it wasn’t something a little more heavy, eh? Imagine if it were acid – “my wife’s head is sprouting snakes!” File under HYPOCRISY MEETS KARMA.

(from antiMUSIC) Some fans got carried away with their fun and died at Thursday’s Ozzfest date in New Jersey. One man was resuscitated in his car in the AFTERNOON after reportedly ingesting “a lethal amount of cocaine, marijuana, and alcohol.” The other guy had a heart attack, was probably pretty young, and was probably pretty fucked up, too. What makes me kinda chuckle is the fact that anybody believes you can overdose on marijuana. Really? It’s a tired argument, but a very solid one – hold up statistics comparing marijuana-related deaths with alcohol- or tobacco-related deaths. You will find that the latter two, alcohol and tobacco, virtually eclipse marijuana in terms of lethality. You can say anything else that you want to about marijuana (and get a commissioned team of frontier scientists to prove that you’re right), but it is not lethal. And I should have more sympathy for these guys, but why? Wake-up call to fans: ABUSE WISELY (oxymoron)! Authorities, just keep doing what you’re doing. As long as nobody’s got guns and knives, we’re good to go. It is the duty of the concert-goer alone not to be a jackass and take any kind of drug at a gnarly, sweaty, super-hot concert that would ultimately lead to their death. ‘S all I’m saying.

Two of them, actually, on the back of a sixtysomething old white man’s truck. The first sticker said “Guns don’t kill people, Criminals do”. I thought about the reasoning behind this argument and came to the conclusion that, hey, you know, totally right. The availability of guns, in fact the right to bear arms given us in our once-sacred Constitution (available now in toilet paper form from thespoof.com) has no bearing on whether people get bullets fired into them. Hell, you can fire a bullet with a hammer. I personally would support a vote outlawing hammers, or at least one requiring more thorough background checks; a baby could crawl into a dollar store and nab one of these bad boys. Guns, so I thought, were nothing to worry about.

Then I saw his other sticker: “Keep honking, I’m reloading”. That’s right – road rage is not classified as a crime, so long as the NRA’s got your back and you’re not a criminal (and you have the bumper stickers to show for it). Keep smiling, Dallas, and remember – if you’re not packing heat, there’s somebody out there who will surely kill you dead. So buy two guns, and carry them around at all times. Or outfit your SUV with them. In hidden compartments. There’s absolutely no reason to worry about the gun culture in America. Guns are tools, kids, not weapons, and they really don’t appreciate the bad rap anymore. When those darned Islamic fundamentalist terrorists finally take over our country, I want nothing more than a roving band of vigilante militant citizens roaming my streets in lieu of an organized defense force. What are your thoughts?

(from Aesop Rock’s MySpace page)

That’s right, Aesop Rock’s coming to Big D November 16 to the new Palladium Ballroom. I’m pretty sure I’ll be there…I’ve been hearing Aesop for years but have yet to see this Definitive Jux staple perform live. It should be well worth the price of admission. I haven’t had the opportunity to rock out at Palladium yet, so I figure this is a perfect first opportunity. He’s out on a fairly extensive U.S. tour in support of his upcoming (August 28) album None Shall Pass. I’ve got the tour dates for posted for you below.

Also, check this interview with between Aesop and an almost wholly incompetent interviewer. It’ll entertain you for about 10 minutes as you read about how Aesop used to skate and stuff.  Then check out Aesop’s video for Fast Cars, below. It’s sweet.

This is a super old video, but I felt like posting it in case there are still some of you out there who haven’t heard of Eyedea or at least haven’t seen this battle. I’ll let it speak for itself.

(from antiMUSIC) If you don’t know what torrents are, or if you simply have a clean conscience you’ve probably been waiting for the works of Lennon and The Beatles to appear on iTunes for you to download. Not so much luck with The Beatles – some crazy dispute between two companies named Apple has been keeping them at bay – but now Lennon is downloadable and disposable throughout 16 different albums. As an added promo, for the first 30 days that these albums are on the market, exclusive video content will be included with the albums “John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band,” “Sometime in New York City,” “Walls and Bridges,” “Milk and Honey” and the collections “Anthology” and “Working Class Hero.” I haven’t gotten around to listening to all of his other works, but I definitely can vouch for Plastic Ono Band. It’s a winner.

(from Rhymesayers’ email newsletter) The mail delivered excellent news today – Atmosphere’s coming to Dallas as part of a tour that several different Rhymesayers acts are taking part in to promote their new albums. Atmosphere, of course, will be promoting Sad Clown Bad Fall 10, a limited tour series EP (so be sure to snatch one up at the show), not to mention the recently released Sad Clown Bad Summer 9 and the upcoming full-length When Life Gives You Lemons… . Grayskul’s got Bloody Radio coming out, Mac Lethal is pretty dope from the little I’ve heard of him, and Lucky.I.Am is best known for his work with hip-hop group Living Legends (featuring Murs, The Grouch, and Aesop Rock), though I am ashamed to admit that I haven’t listened past a couple of downloaded tracks – Night Prowler is naturally one of my favorites, and lucky for you it’s on their MySpace page. Anyway, Slug’s going to be hitting the fledgling Palladium in Dallas on September 27. Rest of dates follow below.

“Everybody Loves a Clown” Tour Dates

9/14/07 Duluth, MN Pizza Luce
9/15/07 Duluth, MN Pizza Luce
9/17/07 Grand Rapids, MI Intersection
9/18/07 Millvale, PA Mr. Small’s Theatre
9/20/07 Baltimore, MD Ram’s Head Live (Atmosphere, Brother Ali only)
9/21/07 Providence, RI Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel
9/22/07 New Haven, CT Toad’s Place
9/23/07 Carrboro, NC Cat’s Cradle
9/24/07 Athens, GA 40 Watt Club
9/26/07 New Orleans, LA Tipitina’s
9/27/07 Dallas, TX Loft @ Palladium Ballroom
9/28/07 Lubbock, TX Jake’s Sports Cafe
9/29/07 Albuquerque, TBA
10/1/07 Flagstaff, AZ Orpheum Theater
10/2/07 Los Angeles, CA Henry Fonda Theater
10/3/07 Solana Beach, CA Belly Up Tavern
10/4/07 San Luis Obispo, CA Downtown Brewing Co
10/5/07 Bakersfield, CA The Dome
10/6/07 Santa Cruz, CA Catalyst
10/8/07 Bend, OR Midtown Ballroom
10/9/07 Bellingham, WA Nightlight
10/10/07 Boise, ID Venue
10/11/07 Salt Lake City, UT In The Venue
10/12/07 Denver , CO Ogden Theatre
10/13/07 Aspen, CO Belly Up, Aspen
10/15/07 Milwaukee, WI Pabst Theater
10/16/07 Madison, WI Barrymore Theatre